Sunday, September 24, 2006
just had an after-dinner walk with dad.
disastrous.
.
just when i'd made my mind up to do well for the BIG exams he simply had to ruin it by saying i'd better take my studies seriously just in case i ended up in some poopy university just for the music major (yeah, university, not CONSERVATORY). ouch. that hurt. oh well. so much for venting. will probably not take it too seriously for long. can't let myself, at any rate.
.
knowing that something's got to be done for me becomes a proclamation of death. i'd better learn to love studying...
GAAAAAAAAAARGH
can't imagine myself studying in the university
or maybe it's possible
but what?
Lit?
History? (goodness forbid!)
Math? (oh, HAHA)
Philosophy? (don't even wanna think about it)
.
Just went again to the Love and Live Again blog. amazing, makes me wnana work harder; maybe not now right after the walk.
practising's the only thing i can keep at for hours on end till my body just wants to lapse into a coma- everything else seems so... boring... inconsequential... pointless.
and when i get to play the music the way i want to....
well...
it's true heaven's just a place on earth.
or maybe the other way around.
wahahha
i dunno. feel an uncontrollable urge to simply keep on typing and typing and typing.. my entire life story so that should i ever some back to read i'd probably bore myself to tears.
then again... i'm tired.
it's late and my body's yearning for that comatic bliss i get so rarely.
.
gosh
.
there's so MUCH i wanna talk about!
the people i know
the people i miss
the people i admire
the people i respect
(we'll just leave out the negative words for now, huh?)
.
life's such a blizzard.
exams.
ambivalent lack of stress.
strange.
.
music
.
people
.
i must be going nuts
.
thinking of the time i'll ever get to see my dearest Egg again.
thinking of how the huggable-est pris would react, if she ever knew...something.
thinking of how mr tan's gonna react tmr when he finds out how much i've done for math (nah, he doesn't really have to know, does he?)
thinking of when i'd next go onto the stage.
thinking of whether i'd see Cindy again anytime soon.
thinking of AYO
thinking of next year's SYO
thinking of who i'd be in two years' time
thinking of... what he thinks.
thinking of...
the people in my life...
the events that shaped me
(the darling sis woudn't hesitate here to add that round is a shape)
the people i will meet
the future i will choose
it's so complicated
if only...
if only..............
.
.
.
ifonlytherewereamatrixequationtosolveitallinoneabominableswoop.
.
.
.
eurgh!
too much math for me.
and yet
.
someone who used to teach math
is so brilliant at teaching the subject i adore
.
i wonder
if math and music do mix after all.
.
strange.
stomached it at
11:14 PM
