Monday, August 20, 2007
it's funny how i can't find the time to write about rather more life-changing events (the london trip, for example) but i can make the effort to write about tiny little grudges. especially against people like my maid. over-privileged kid picking on innocent victim the maid eh? see for yourself.
.
when i got home early today i was so hungry (yes yes, early lunch) i immediately grabbed a bowl of cereal and, just to relax a little, plonked myself on the sofa and began munching over today's newspapers. she was doing some cleaning in the piano room. fine. in about one minute the piano started tinkling away. fine. maybe she's accidentally hit a few notes. nothing wrong with that. seconds later the accident occurred again. okay. maybe she's just clumsy. i dunno. i tried not to notice. and then the notes just kept coming and coming and COMING! and, what's worse, the SAME notes just kept sounding! imagine the same ole sound vibrating at identical frequency wafting into your reluctant ears again and again and again. she obviously was curious. alright, nothing really wrong with that, unless you were trying to make a point. or maybe she just thought she was alone. so i rustled my papers a little to make sure she did know that i was there. didn't work! the notes (noise, really - and this is the first time i've referred to my piano that way) JUST KEPT COMING. what really bugged me wasn't the fact that my maid was tinkering on the piano - i do remember being fascinated with the daintily hammered sounds as a child when my piano was first delivered; it was more the idea of someone i completely didn't know -just a little background info: she just came a month ago and barely knows english, while i barely know malay- trying out an instrument that i hold quite emotionally dear (and i'm not even being emotional now!), IN FRONT OF ME AND WITHOUT CONSENT! looking at the situation objectively, even if she didn't know that i felt that way about my musical objects, she really shouldn't have been doing that without asking! and if she WERE to ask, i'd gladly teach her how to play and read so that she could teach herself a song or two! ARGH. impolite, in short. it felt like a personal insult, like someone just took and wore my underwear or something. and it's NOT because she was the maid. if it were any other outsider i'd feel the same. either she's completely oblivious to her senses or she's just plain stupid. my sis is right, she's just not street-smart. but i don't even wanna go into that. considering the fact that she is a domestic helper, i didn't think it wise to start using an object of the employers' (their children's, in this case), especially without first asking, and especially IN FRONT OF THEM! god. some people just don't know implications. in HER case, 1) i'm using other people's things without permission 2) i'm skiving 3) i don't care that you know and i'm doing it in front of you. like, HUH?!?!? how could anyone be so DAFT!? ARGHRGHRGHRGHRGHRGHRGHRGHRGHRGHRGHRGHRGRHGHRGHRGRHRGHRGHRGRHRGHR!
thank goodness my violin(s) are safe and sound IN THEIR CASES. otherwise my heart would just positively bleed dry. how could she?! and i don't even care if my friends would say i'm overreacting. with something so personal, it's justifiable. i'm gonna tell my sis just to see if i'm the only one reacting like that. i mean, i dun wanna be mean but the fact of reality is that she really has no right! i'm feeling sick. i don't even know why people employ maids. especially now when she's the first in the house for many years, i feel as if a little bit of my freedom has been bought away, and it's not as if my mum's asking her to watch my every action. no, not a single one. anyway. had to take my cereal and run as far as i could (in the case of the physical constraints of my home, another room) and shut the door. and that's after hearing more of the tinkering and almost getting used to it, the way staring at those abhorrent math questions makes u a little less nervous and clears your mind a little more (but it's not like my math teachsr isn't already doing a wonderful job). just couldn't take it. i got so paranoid that when i saw a strand of hair in my cereal i immediately thought it was hers! but of course it wasn't - i was the only one handling the bowl. sucks. so that's as far as it gets - the domestic terrorist. when she comes she observes everything that she's never had. you share nice things with her (i'm referring to the library trips and food like sweets and cakes and snacks and time with the family on outings and in front of the tv) but she doesn't think it a privilege. i'm not being nit-picky here, but i do know for a fact that my friends' parents don't treat their own maids so well! in fact, i'm beginning to suspect that she expects it, like havign a right to things, and maybe even with a tad of disappointment that my family isn't more affluent! sheesh. paranoia, maybe. i'm making myself feel sicker. shit me and my sepculations. i hate seeing all these things that others don't. i sometimes wish i could be blind, maybe selectively blind, so I just miss out on all these things that tarnish my view of others. control my reactions, some may say. easier than said, i say. superduper pissed. and upset. and – well – hurt. i hate it. and I disgust myself.
stomached it at
3:21 PM
Thursday, August 16, 2007
oh my god.
IP is having a cupcake frenzy!!! and not least cos teachers' day is coming!!! (then again, prelims being just around the corner doesn't really seem to be of much concern. haah.)
anyway. just came to drop a pic here. found it on the net, of course. not the cutest cupcake around, but COOOOOOOL! hehehe
..:...:...:...:...:...:...:...:...:...:...:...:...:...:...:...:...:..
dying of depression
stomached it at
8:20 PM
Sunday, August 12, 2007
oh.my.god.
I'VE JUST POACHED A PHOTO FROM SOMEONE ELSE'S BLOG, AND IT'S GOT ME IN IT! HAHAHAHAHA. super funny. dun even remember what we were laughing at but think i've got a pretty good hunch.
anyway. just for the record, my last concert at esplanade with NJ STRINGS was totally awesome! first decent one in four years, probably. hahaha. won't write about that till i've got my hands on some photos!
oh, and just went out wih EGGY and her PIN (hahaha. she'd love that), plus a few kiddos :P - michelle, tiffany and -another- cheryl. hahahahaa. but that was two days ago. MISSING THE EGG ALREADY!
argh okay shan't waste more time building fantasies on blank screen space. can't wait for the photos!
in the meantime, here's a little something to ogle at. haha. don't kill me, serene! -hugggs-
stomached it at
8:09 PM
